To all that know me well, I hope u understand this blog.....................

Well folks, today I let go of something that has been hanging on to me or something maybe that ive been hanging on too for reasons unknown. I was pleasant about it, simply said, I love u but I cant be what u want me to be and I dont want to be that anymore. So needless to say the person left crying,I even did a little crying, but it was what needed to be done. It has needed finalizing for quite some time now. However it does feel like something has been lifted off my shoulders. Many wishes to D. I truly hope she finds someone that will make her happy and give her the things she needs. On the other hand, I have a great guy... He listens pretty dang well, even though he didnt necessarily like what I was talking about...lol. I guess thats why I love him, he gets me ya know... peace out... what a day...

WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS LETTING GO... AND KNOWING NOT WHAT TO SAY... JUST WATCHING U WALK AWAY.... ALL I HAVE FOR NOW...

Why in the hell do things bother u that shouldnt? my sis says because "u let them". which is true, but i just cant seem to shake this.. its freakin awful. someone that u have shared so much with, then just torments the hell outta ya. I dont know folks.. my emotions are weak tonight... write more later... ps. thank sis..i love ya.. u helped a lot more than u realize

hey my peeps.. I hope that all is well with everyone. currently, Im fighting allergies.. that is about the only thing that I hate about spring.. damn allergies.. ya hear me.. I hope my murray is getting better. Its funny, seems like when im sick, shes sick or when shes sick, im sick..weird.. anyway, maybe im having murray sympathy pains..lol anyway, over this past weekend I had my first softball practices. man it felt so good to be back out on the field.. much better here in the states playing ball rather than in iraq.. fields are soooo much better.. this weather being nice sometimes, makes me wanna get in the pool.. ya hear me TINA!! LOL

One more thing... im not reverting back. too much drama. so im staying away. I apologize to murray for everything.. we were having a good time too.. dammitt!

why do we do such stupid things while under the influence. everything is going along fine and then something just jumps up and slaps u in the face. I felt like I stepped back in time last night. a time when I wasnt happy, therefore this calls for another change. putting the blinders on ya hear me and staying focused on staying forward, not falling backward.
me and murray had a nice visit saturday nite, til the shit fell out of the bottom.. and had to try to go pick up one drunken cousin that turned out to be disaster...

and for further updates right now im in arkansas in school for work. I should be back this weekend sometime.. thank goodness. so my internet has been down in my room and just now came back up. anyway, i hope all is well.. this weather is giving me spring fever.. ya hear me...